Plans to attend bachelor party cause manís girlfriend angst

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years will be attending a bachelor party in Las Vegas. Weíve never had any issues of infidelity, yet I canít help but feel anxious about his upcoming trip. I know the scene that exists in Vegas -- Iím in my mid-20s and I enjoyed my trips there when I was younger and single.

Iím worried about him and his friends going to strip clubs, topless pool parties, etc. I donít mind him enjoying a trip and going out with the boys, but I think attending an event with nudity is disrespectful to the other person when youíre in a long-term, serious relationship. I donít want him to feel he has to tell his friends he canít go to those things. What are your thoughts on this? -- WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS ...

DEAR WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS: You and your boyfriend are both adults. Viewing topless entertainment or attending a topless pool party is not infidelity. If he hasnít given you any reason to worry so far, give him the benefit of the doubt.

P.S. By the way, I have heard that some bachelorette parties can be equally wild. Do you plan to swear off them yourself?

DEAR ABBY: My wife hates Facebook. She has always hated it and never signed up. I have had an account since the site began and maintain many connections with friends, family members who live far away, old teachers -- even my in-laws. I donít discuss it with my wife much because it makes her angry.

Iím not constantly on it, and itís not like Iím doing anything bad. But if she hears from a friend about a funny or insightful comment I made on Facebook, we end up getting into a huge argument because she insists I have to delete my account. The argument always ends with her saying, ďYou will delete it because I hate it!Ē

I donít want to delete my Facebook page, and I hate arguing with my wife. What should I do? -- ďLIKESĒ FACEBOOK IN RALEIGH, N.C.

DEAR ďLIKESĒ FACEBOOK: Try to get to the bottom of why she finds your staying in touch with these people threatening, because it appears you married someone who is very controlling. She is your spouse, not your jailer. If you want to participate in social media, continue to do so.

Although you didnít mention it, I canít help but wonder if her jealousy and possessiveness have affected other areas of your life. If thatís the case, talk about it with a licensed marriage and family therapist before it drives the two of you apart. If she wonít go with you, go alone.

DEAR ABBY: Iím a doctor. I give free medical advice to my cousin and her mother several times a month, and have for quite some time now. I do it free of charge because we are family and thereís a close bond between us.

My cousin works in marketing, so I asked her if she could help me design my presentation card. She replied that she would give me three designs to choose from, and it would cost roughly $100. I feel itís wrong for her to charge me for her service since Iíve never charged her. -- FREE OF CHARGE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FREE OF CHARGE: Itís possible your cousin was asking to be reimbursed for the cost of the MATERIALS involved in creating the cards for you. Before you allow yourself to get into a snit, perhaps you should clarify exactly what you would be paying for.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.