Back in the bad old days, I never dared hope that I would someday be writing on the topic of my 20th wedding anniversary.

I was quite the lonely teenager and young adult. Girls wouldn't even give me the proverbial "time of day." All that changed with a fateful blind date at Bonanza Family Steakhouse in Columbia. I met Miss Melissa Anne Brower of Hohenwald (formerly of Forked River, N. J.). After two years of begging, I got a second date. After a whirlwind four-year courtship, we were joined in holy matrimony on June 1, 1991. Now I HAVE someone to give me the time of day. ("It's the time of day to mow the yard. It's the time of day to empty the litter box...")

It seems both yesterday and a million years ago that we encountered a seaweed infestation of Biblical proportions on our honeymoon in Gulf Shores, Ala., set up housekeeping in half of aunt Marie Humphrey's house at 462 4th Avenue North, and learned to live with muddy spring water at our own humble abode on Snake Creek Road.

We have been there for each other through good times (trips to Las Vegas and New Orleans, the birth of our son Gideon, various Goat Festivals and yard sales) and bad (the death of my father, the death of Melissa's grandfather, our 1991 wreck, my 1998 downsizing by Sanford, Melissa's stressful years at Cosmolab before becoming a biology teacher at Columbia State).

WJJM's Steven Christopher is fond of enhancing anniversary announcements with the catch-phrase "and NEVAH had a fight!" Coincidentally, after two decades of misunderstandings and bad moods and pressure-cooker situations, Melissa and I can still hold our heads high and announce, "Yes, we do own a radio."

Melissa has grudgingly accepted my eccentricities and I have learned to tolerate her unfathomable disdain for "30 Rock" and talk radio. And then there's the way she seems so supremely satisfied to play the car radio almost inaudibly. Trust me, the sound of my ear hairs growing should NOT be drowning out heavy metal.

We have survived a lot of problems via my remembering all the Little Words that keep me on Melissa's good side. By that, I mean the one little word ("Please"), the two little words ("I'm sorry"), and the three little words ("Free tea refills").

We have wisely learned to divide responsibilities according to which of us is best suited for a particular task. I have definitely learned to let Melissa pick out her own gifts. So she will probably be selecting her own anniversary gift, just as she usually has a hand in picking her own birthday gift, Christmas gift, Memorial Day gift, Arbor Day gift, National Bob Smartt Appreciation Day gift...(Hey, I'm starting to think someone is being scammed here!)

After all this time, Melissa remains my best friend, my dependable sounding board, my soul mate. I can only hope that someday Gideon is fortunate enough to marry someone who is half the woman his mother is. And that he always remembers "There is no 'I' in marriage." Um, I mean, "This is the first marriage of the rest of your life." That's not it. Got it: "NEVAH accept platitudes from your Dad."

©2011 Danny Tyree.

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